Louis CK

Don't know. Maria Bamford is great. Tig Notaro. Laura Kightlinger. Kathy Griffin. Sarah Silverman. Jessica Kirson KILLS. Marina franklin can be inspired in moments. she's not a comedian but Mellissa mccarthy is hilarious. I know i'm leaving some out. Going back Joan Rivers. Carol Brunette Phillis Diller Lilly tomlin. Margaret Smith had great jokes. Rosanne had some great stuff. Moms Mabley. I used to open for Paula Poundstone who is a phenomenal performer. Joy Behar, used to work with her in clubs in new york. She was GREAT in the clubs. Um... There's a woman named Laura House who i don't think does standup anymore. Susie Essman. Lots of great women comedians. Lots of shitty ones. More shitt...[Read more]

I don't really think about it. I do my act and tell my stories and the rest just happens. I've done with varying degrees of success and failure and been okay with all of them so I don't worry about how I'm doing i just do what i'm doing.

[Louis talking to Marc Maron] The first time I saw you was at Catch [A Rising Star] in Boston but like you didn't know me I didn't know you and I didn't like you on stage. The first time I saw you, you were very aggressive and you were in a lot of turmoil. I think you were just coming out of all this sort of Sam Kinison coke business so you exuded a huge amount of insecurity and craziness. [Marc] Undisciplined though, like I didn’t think I was. [Louis] You made me uncomfortable and then I met you and then David Cross, I think, said I'm going to hang out with this guy, do you want to come with me? And he told me it was you and I was like oh that guy. So then we went to the coffee connec...[Read more]

It's just not normal to go in front of people and accept an award. What is that??? how does a human do that? It's weird. so the repetition got strange for me. I am very appreciative though It was just the moments themselves that built to be surreal.

I love dogs. I've had two. They both died. I have no pets. My youngest daughter has a fish tank. More fish have died in it than now live in it, kind of like my closet.

as far as fans on the street. Well, that got kind of difficult this year because it became frequent. it's tricky because I find myself in the strange and indefensible position of being really uncomfortable due to something I am very grateful for. I appreciate every person that approaches me to say something. So I kind of invested some brain and heart space and time into puzzling out how do I deal with this? I lived some moments that i didn't like how I reacted to someone being nice. I can't expect anyone to know why it can be stressful. You sort of wan tto be lost in your own gaze and haze of your life and not be noticed constantly by folks and treated strangely and then stared at. But you s...[Read more]

I can't sit down and write jokes. I just flows in from some maddeningly elusive place. Believe me if i had an alaska in my brain i would drill baby drill and I'd cum right on Sarah's back while I was there.

I started when i was 17. I got a good head start, skill-building wise, but I sometimes think I missed out on a lot of “Life” that I could be drawing from now. Try to go to college and get some knowlege. If you don’t do that, make a deliberate attempt to read a lot and educate yourself, so that you don’t just become a siv for American pop culture. If you spend all your time on stage talking about the cover of People magazine, you won’t go far, you won’t last, and you’ll be bored before you get good. Take advantage of the head start you’re giving yourself by stopping as often as possible to live your life, explore America and grow as a person. When you go to some shit town to do a one-nighte...[Read more]

You’ve said you learned in therapy that your compulsive behavior – eating, sex – is just self-medicating your anxiety. Does having that insight help? Oh, definitely. Once you say that to yourself, “Oh, this is anxiety,” you get to say to yourself, “Why am I anxious?” because when something’s bothering you, you don’t name it, you just start eating something. I’m still going to eat the two Twinkies, but when I start opening the second packet, I say to myself, “What’s going on, buddy?” That will get me to two Twinkies instead of eight.

I loved the Great Gatsby. I can’t believe they did it in 3D. What the fuck? Dahrma bums. these are just random. My Travels with Charlie. Grapes of Wrath. Crime and Punishment. Slaughterhouse 5. All vonugut when i was a youngster. Catcher in the Rye. 9 Stories. SOmething by Thomas Mann I can’t remember. Heart of Darkness. I claudius. The Golden Ass. Hercules my shipmate. Fire from Heaven. Persian boy. The chronicles of narnia when I was a kid and now my daughters. TR biography. lots others.

I like making short films. You can do anything you want in a short film because it doesn’t have the weight of a feature [film] where every moment has to serve the entire film. If you have a weird little idea you can just go out and make a short film about it and people can watch it for a short time and then move on to whatever the next thing is they’re doing in their lives. So I just always encourage people to make short films because it’s the one thing in film that you can always do. There are people laying all over the streets who are great and qualified and talented filmmakers, directors of photography and editors who have nothing to do and they are always eager to jump on a project wit...[Read more]

I wanted to be a lawyer and argue cases of civil rights before the supreme court. Or a car mechanic. I would have sucked at both.

I was doing a few new jokes in the last few shows I did on this tour. i probably won't go on stage again for a while but when I do it'll be shorter sets with new, bad stuff.

Why does Pinochio lie? Because he's a fucking liar.

total disaster. I bombed HARD for 2 minutes.

nope. I like joking about everything. This will sound too lofty because it is. This is going to an extreme to make a point: Saying a subject is too awful or painful to joke about is like saying a disease is too awful to be treated. Please do not take that out of context, the context being that I realize this is a crazy statement and I'm going to an extreme to make a point.

I try to rotate the menu so they don't get sick of stuff. I used to make rice and beans a lot and that's getting old now. I love making sautéed brussel sprouts but only one of my kids likes it. I love baking chickens. We do that a lot. lots of lemon garlic and olive oil, salt, paprika, pepper. Just tons of all that and cook that fucker at 450 for an hour then turn it down.

If you want 100 percent of people to like your material you really have mental problems. If you have to like 100 percent of everything you see, you really have mental problems.

My kids know everything about what I do and about jokes and what jokes are and what comedy is. All we do is laugh and joke when I'm not raising them or feeding them or cleaning up after them or enjoying their company.

Hannibal Buress. Zach Galifanakiciksiswiwiwiww88899is [sic]