ISIS ☁️

ISIS, You SIS, We all SIS for Ice Chris.

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Related posts tagged 'Foam corner'

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Related posts tagged 'Foam corner'

I’m starting a campaign to change bygones into something. Everyone’s always trying to let them be bygones.
I don’t trust the whole crepe craze. (First of all, there’s a crepe craze. Second of all, I don’t trust it). I don’t trust anything you can put ham or chocolate on. (That was a joke about dangling prepositions!)
I think that an e-mail should be called an e-letter. You say, “I just got an e-mail”, but you wouldn’t say “I just got a mail.” You’d sound stupid.
I know it’s not true, but I feel like twins get half the stuff in the womb.
Remember a time when everyone in America just seemed to have steak in their refrigerators, and they would put it on someone’s eye if they had a black eye? You don’t see that much anymore.
When you see an audience clapping, it makes me feel like we’re animals. “I like that! I hit my hands!” It’s so dumb of us!
My therapist told me to look inward, and I thought he said “Look, N-word.”
It’s silly that when you’re in a cold car and you want heat, cold air comes out first and it makes you colder. They should fix that!

Related posts tagged 'Phone corner'

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Related posts tagged 'Phone corner'

What do you get when you cross the holocaust with a baby-clothing store? Oshkosh B’g-Auschwitz.
I was out of dish detergent, so I tried to use dish soap, which was a disaster. And then I ran out of ranch dressing, so I used dish soap. Disaster. And then because I was using so much dish soap, I ran out, so I tried to clean dishes with peanut butter. Success!
I’ve decided that I’m not gonna get married until gay people can get married. Cause I’m gay!
If there’s three people sitting in the back seat of a car or something… Say I’m in the middle, and Huell and Michael are on either side of me, and people go: “Hey that’s a Huell and Michael sandwich!” But no, cause you don’t identify a sandwich by its bread. You don’t say it’s a white-bread sandwich.
A lot of people ask me if I’ve ever tried to suck my own dick. And no, I haven’t! Cause I can’t!
You know how people over-pronounce something they’ll go “HW-eat thin!” or “HW-ile.” That’s a thing that proper folk do. But it should be “W-Heat thin” or “W-Hile”. Why does the H come before the W just because you’re pronouncing it like that?
It’s silly that when you’re in a cold car and you want heat, cold air comes out first and it makes you colder. They should fix that!
Does anyone genuinely know why at grocery stores they offer a cash back option? Is that just to be nice? That’s like the bank offering you zucchinis!
If you go into a bank, can you get in trouble for yelling, “everybody get down!” without a gun or anything? Can you get in trouble for telling everyone to get down? No, James Brown does it every night!