There's so, so, so many. But Mitch Hedberg's... "I use to do drugs... I still do... but I use to, too." And while we're quoting Mitch Hedberg jokes here's another one... "I saw a sign that said escalator temporarily broke... shouldn't it have said escalator temporarily stairs."

Because of the episode where we used all of the outtakes, you pretty much got to see all of the stuff that cracked us up. People always talk about Chappelle's Show being quotable. Dave and I will quote it ourselves, but it's more obscure stuff. Like Rick James saying, "People think I do things just to do them. I got a little more sense than that. Yes I remember putting my feet on Eddie's couch." Dave and I will meet for coffee and say shit like, "People think I do things just to do them. I got a little more sense than that. Yes I remember going to get coffee with Neal." It's pretty stupid.

The first time I heard "Pornstars!" It was the Jonah Hill episode. "One time I thought I banged Seal Team Six... but it was actually just sixteen seals. I was like, 'Thanks, America!'" I remember I made them keep that joke in there!

I think a couple of really funny ones would be Larry Miller's Five Stages of Drinking; another funny one would be George Carlin's Chunk on Suicide. Bob Newhart had a lot of funny bits. Phyllis Diller I remember vividly as a kid really, getting a kick out of that self-effacing approach. Jonathan Winters and Carol Burnett had a big impact on me too.

I have this "Paul Is The King" joke that I love but never works. However, I think the best piece of material I have ever written in my "women are afraid of my because I know so much about giraffes." It's funny on so many levels I can't count them, because i'm not as tall as a giraffe, the tallest land mammal.

I think the best Seinfeld episode idea I ever contributed was that George pretending to be a marine biologist would find Kramer's golf ball in the blowhole of the whale. Believe it or not, we were doing both of those stories without seeing any connection that Kramer was gonna hit golf balls at the beach, and George was gonna be pretending to be a marine biologist. And it was in the middle of the week that it suddenly hit me of a way to connect the two stories. So, I think that's probably the best joke I ever thought of on the series. But, I love when people say "regift" or "giddyup", or "yadda yadda". The real and spectacular...I was a very big fan of the show.

What do you call that thing between an asshole and a dick? (A coffee table)

Why does Pinochio lie? Because he's a fucking liar.

I have hundreds of great jokes, I live for great jokes. Here's a current one. Man goes to a doctor, and he says "I have bad news, and worse news." The doctor says "The bad news is, you have cancer." The patient says "That's terrible! What's the worst news?" The doctor says "You also have Alzheimer's" And the patient says "thank god I don't have cancer!"

My favorite Stefon thing ever was "three screaming babies in mozart wigs" because it made my wife laugh really hard.

Chris Farley as Matt Foley, inspirational speaker.

I think Chris Rock's album Roll With the New was a gamechanger for me

The Marx Brothers. I'd be really afraid to meet them because they're dead. Albert Brooks. He's not dead. I met some of Monty Python and only yelled at one of them.

That’s a hard one to answer, but living legends… Don Rickles. Present Eddie Pepitone.

I started doing comedy in 2002 and I had a VHS tape of one of my first few sets. I took it to my RA, Open Mike Eagle. He watched it and said you sound like this dude, he played some Hedberg for me. I thought it was amazing. Mitch played Zanies in Chicago in 2005. I was brand new and I went up to his green room and asked for a spot. (This was really obnoxious but I was hungry and ambitious.) The next night he let and 3-4 other Chicago comedians that he never met perform on a sold out show of his fans. That's unheard of. Comedians just don't do that type of shit. I won't do that shit now. I can be in the greatest mood ever and I won't let a stranger on my show. It went well and he let me open...[Read more]

Dov Davidoff Sebastian Maniscalco Bret Ernst Iliza Shlesinger Kevin Hart

Richard Pryor. He was literally my everything.

Joey Diaz. No one consistently makes me laugh the way he does, and he just makes everything else around him funny. We always say that Joey "brings the party." That's really the best way to describe him. I fucking love that dude.

My favorite comedian of all-time is probably Richard Pryor. He's the most raw, he's the most honest, and he's the funniest.

I'd have to say Dave Chappelle. He's brilliant and fun to watch. Patrice O'neal was one of the best live acts I've seen. His crowd work was amazing.