Can’t Stop Cringing Over Old School Memories? Science Explains Why
Do you ever walk and suddenly recall an embarrassing moment from 1998?
If you’re anything like me, you do. I was browsing the cheese section at Waitrose, looking at feta brands. Then, I suddenly remembered a funny moment. I sneezed during a school photo and sent a gob of snot flying. It landed right on Alice Watkins’ neck, and everyone saw it.
Seventeen years later, I cringed. I muttered a curse under my breath. A guy picking out crackers shot me a weird look. He sported a hoodie that read, “Online sports betting is life.” It was pretty fitting. Both gambling and embarrassing memories come with surprises and plenty of regret.
It’s called an “involuntary memory”.
And they’re very normal. Dr. Jennifer Wild, a clinical psychologist at Oxford’s Centre for Anxiety Disorders and Trauma, says nearly everyone experiences this.
“After something embarrassing or traumatic, it’s normal to have these kinds of memories,” she explains. “Some can happen often—maybe daily for a few weeks. Others barely notice them, and a few might not get any.”
Blame Your Brain: The Real Reason You Remember Cringe Moments
“Professor Chris Brewin, from UCL’s Institute of Cognitive Neuroscience, says the brain holds on to both the memory and the emotions. He calls it a punishment/reward system. It is essential: “It reminds us of key experiences—like danger or humiliation.” This helps keep you from making the same mistakes again.
You learn by associating experiences with outcomes. This is classic psychology. It goes back to Ivan Pavlov, the Russian scientist. He rang a bell before feeding his dogs. Soon, the bell alone made them drool.
Your brain pulls the same trick with cringe-worthy or traumatic memories. Similarly, your brain recalls bad feelings, like fear or shame. Dr Wild says this conditioning is powerful when the memory is painful or embarrassing. “In these situations, we get adrenaline-filled, heightening our awareness. It makes memories clearer. If something reminds you of that time, those memories can return.”
One Awkward Moment, A Lifetime of Flashbacks
An external trigger can set them off. Dr. She says the cheddar-yellow glow of the Waitrose cheese aisle can take me back to 1998. Even a fleeting mood can trigger that memory, too.
A Problem for Some People
These memories are often embarrassing and not a big problem for most people. But there’s a spectrum. Most people have involuntary memories. These memories can turn into intrusive ones. Frequent episodes like this can signal PTSD, depression, social anxiety, or another anxiety disorder.
The two are on a spectrum. “It comes down to how upsetting the memory is,” explains Dr. Wild.
According to Prof. Brewin, most random memories don’t last long. Yet, in some disorders, the same memories can be repeated many times. Often, it’s the same three or four memories repeating. One memory triggers another, and soon, you’re caught in a loop. Dr. Wild warns that if flashbacks disrupt your life, like making you miss social events, it may signal a more serious mental health issue. In severe situations, it’s like you’re reliving the moment repeatedly. “They can take over people’s lives,” she says.
How to Stop Cringing Over Old Memories
One way to handle these cringe-worthy attacks? Dr. Wild suggests redirecting your attention. It’s called stimulus discrimination. It means noticing where you are now and how it’s different from before.
When standing in the Waitrose cheese aisle and a humorous school memory pops into your head, remind yourself, “I’m in Waitrose now, not then.” This disconnects the brain from linking the cue—a smell or a light—to the released memory.
Over time, your brain learns the difference, and the cringe gets weaker.
People with PTSD often avoid triggers like certain words or TV scenes. That’s why trigger warnings matter—they help prevent severe reactions.
If these memories are too much, talk to your GP. You can also look into the NHS’s IAPT program for quick mental health support.
