Posts tagged 'Fan stories' (19)

Most horrible fan story

i was on the subway once and this old lady came up to me. she pointed right in my face and screamed and diarreah started just gushing out of her onto the floor. I'm not sure she was a fan but it was pretty awful. Also it never happened. But it will...


I did the Edinburgh festival years ago. I did a joke about being a germaphobe. After the show a woman approached me and handed me a stack of high-end moist towelettes, the kind that come in scents like Eucalyptus and spearmint, and sell at Whole Foods for $15. I thanked her and made a "joke" about her sending me a case. She sent me 20 bags!
My brother was in Fiji, and he walked by a hut that had some like, it was a cave, and it said it showed movies in there and it said "This week: Tommy Boy." And he's 6,000 miles away, and someone asked if he wanted to see Tommy Boy and he said no.
i'm still not really used to it, so I by accident will scream or gasp a lot when people call my name or touch me on the street. yesterday on the way home, a couple touched my shoulder to get my attention to tell me they were fans, and i yelled out "aaah!" and the woman dropped her coffee. i scared the shit out of them.
Some gal was all cool and made love to me. then went crazy and grabbed a few things outta my bed room to steal and climbed off my balcony to escape and fell and hurt her back. ambos came. idiot.
there is a black or african american man who asks to fuck me alot or recently if his buddy could fuck me. like bro, you aint fucking me u just think im gonna let your buddy in?! plus, IM STRAIGHT for now.
So many. Someone gave me a framed picture of a half frozen tomato with a hole in it. For reals. From the podcast.
My oddest fan encounter... I will grossly namedrop this and say that I met Steve Martin, who knew he was meeting me that night and had watched a couple episodes of the show and said he liked it, which was not odd, but like the coolest thing that's ever happened. And it's not like he came up out of nowhere - he knew he was going to meet me, and prepped for it.
I don't know if this counts as a "fan theory" but there was a guy that totally predicted the Council of Ricks as soon as we started messing around with alternate timelines. They even referenced the Fantastic Four's "Council of Reeds" or whatever it was called, which we hadn't even known about, I don't think, but which we were sort of ripping off. I mean, the guy saw that we were doing alternate timelines and was immediately like "oh, this means they could do a council of ricks if they wanted," and we were pretty stymied by that because it's exactly what we were writing when he posted that. That doesn't happen a lot. But you're more asking about stuff like "I think Rick is actually Goldenfold...
I remember a midget girl hit on me one night. She came up to me, at a club, I forget what city - it was getting late - and she asked what hotel I was staying at, and I said I was married, and she said "Can't blame a bitch for trying!" That was funny.
The best experience with a fan? It happens sometimes where someone will say "I was going through a really hard time. I was going through a really hard time, and I was just morose or depressed." And I met one person who said I couldn't find anything to cheer me up and I was so sad. And I Just watched Caddyshack, and I watched it for about a week and it was the only thing that cheered me up. And it was the only thing that cheered me up and made me laugh and made me think that my life wasn't hopeless. That I had a way to see what was best about life, that there was a whole lot of life that was wonderful. And I happen to know (from her own spirit) that that person has really triumphed as an art...
I had a woman that might have been about 50-60 years old run up and kiss me on the mouth. I was shocked. Her name was Casey.
A woman in the Dallas airport came up to me and literally said "Be zany." Like she had walked up to Baryshnikov and said "dance." I didn't know how to respond. I just went "thank you! And Lincoln freed everyone."
Q: I saw you walking down the street one time while I had my headphones on, you were walking with someone else and looked busy so I didn't want to disturb you so I just held out my fist as I walked past offering a fist bump, not even removing my headphones. You just casually gave me that fist bump as we passed and I kept going on my way, and everyone around on the street looked really confused and looking at me thinking I was friends with you. And even had someone ask me if I knew you personally at the next crosswalk. It was hilarious and awesome. Thanks for that moment Aziz. Also you're funny as fuck. A: Haha, I love weird interactions like that. Another cool one in NYC - dude in a UPS ...
Well, let me answer this by asking a question: when I was on SNL, I played Burt Reynolds on Celebrity Jeopardy. One time, he (being me, playing he) refused to be called "Burt Reynolds" because he had changed his name to "Turd Ferguson." So Alex Trebec had to call him "Turd Ferguson" that became a little cult thing. So one time, i was in a very crowded street, and the street was 5th Avenue, which you know, at lunchtime how crowded it was, and there were hundreds of people watching as a gentleman yelled at me "HEY TURD!" and I said "Thank you! Thank you!" And I always wondered what sort of relationship those people thought me and that fellow had.
The weirdest "compliment" I ever got was when a man came up to me on the street and said, "Oh my god you're famous right! Do you work for Microsoft??" I was like, "Did you think I was Bill Gates...?"
Um, I think most of my fans are strange, really? I met the second man on the moon - Buzz Aldrin - and he was laughing at my name, and I was laughing at his! But we're both fans of each other. That's pretty cool. And of course, when I met John Cleese, I almost threw myself at him! There was a time when I was on SNL that people were referring to me as "The American John Cleese" and I was always very flattered by that. But when I did meet him, it was terrific. We were about the same height, and we were both as annoyed as each other as we wanted to be.