Related posts tagged 'Foam corner'
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Related posts tagged 'Foam corner'
I’m pretty sad today. I just had my first unenjoyable Gotye listening session. I knew it was coming but now it’s just “Somebody That I Used to Know” that I used to know.
I think it’s insane that car radios exist. Period. All it is, it’s only a distraction. Like “oh I’m bored driving this two ton piece of metal, I should be able to do another activity”? And that car companies are like “Yes, this is a standard thing, this distraction we’ll put in your car.” We should only be driving like “whoa!!” the whole time!
This is a new character, he’s called Harvey Dangerfield: “I’m not sick but I’m not well, I get no respect!” That’s it.
I was out of dish detergent, so I tried to use dish soap, which was a disaster. And then I ran out of ranch dressing, so I used dish soap. Disaster. And then because I was using so much dish soap, I ran out, so I tried to clean dishes with peanut butter. Success!
Coins are so worthless now that it’s gone from “You can keep the change” to “Can you keep the change?”
That guy I was telling you about, my friend in high school that did heroin? He was a good student, and he did do a lot of heroin and with used needles. He got straight aids.
You know how everyone says to get your porn name; you use your pet’s name and the street you grew up on? I have a new system and it works for anybody. Take your first name; change it to “Sir”. Then take your last name and change it to “Fucksalot”.
Related posts tagged 'Phone corner'
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Related posts tagged 'Phone corner'
That guy I was telling you about, my friend in high school that did heroin? He was a good student, and he did do a lot of heroin and with used needles. He got straight aids.
I think that an e-mail should be called an e-letter. You say, “I just got an e-mail”, but you wouldn’t say “I just got a mail.” You’d sound stupid.
That reminded me of when Mike and Omar would take out the trash when they were young boys... Good Epps.
This is topical about Earwolf. Jeff from Earwolf just had a baby, and they named the baby “Arden.” Do you think before that happened they said, “Let’s name her Arden in here!”
Hotel checkout is 11 but check in is 3, so … the fuck? I imagine it’s for cleaning but it doesn’t take that long to clean. I guess just make check out later.
So I was thinking about how a lot of people feel shame while they masturbate. Actually, I feel like if God didn’t want us to “j that shit off,” he wouldn’t have given us small sandwich baggies filled with warm grape jelly and rubber bands.
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