You know how there’s like candy and mints in bathrooms sometimes? That’s the last place I want by open food is around all this shit!
Related posts tagged 'Foam corner'
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Related posts tagged 'Foam corner'
This is a true story: One time I said to a guy that I loved learning new things. I was like, “I’m a bit of an infomaniac.” And he thought I said nymphomaniac. So he fucked me. And I said, “No, no, no! I like info! I’m an infomanic!” and he said, “Well here’s some info, you just got fucked. Clean yourself up!”
This character was inspired by Friday Night Lights. It’s a shy, Texan teenager who’s trying to get his coach’s attention: “Cayouch! Cayouch! Cayouch? Cayouch! Cayouch? Cayouch! Excuse me, cayouch?”
You know how everyone says if you’re gonna get a dog you should adopt it? All fucking dogs are adopted! No one shoots dogs out of their pussies. Unless you’re Mrs. Brodis, Snoop’s mom.
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Related posts tagged 'Phone corner'
This is a true sidebar: I just saw that Jennifer Convertibles just opened up a car dealership. It’s called Jennifer Sofas.
I don’t trust the whole crepe craze. (First of all, there’s a crepe craze. Second of all, I don’t trust it). I don’t trust anything you can put ham or chocolate on. (That was a joke about dangling prepositions!)
How come the shelves at Bed, Bath and Beyond be so tall? They should just call that place Tall Shelves, Tall Shelves, and Tall Shelves.
This is a character that’s only read the word “thermometer” but has never said it out loud: “Hey, what temperature does it say on that thermo-meter?”
Hotel checkout is 11 but check in is 3, so … the fuck? I imagine it’s for cleaning but it doesn’t take that long to clean. I guess just make check out later.
This is just a beef I have with The Wallflowers’s Song “One Headlight.” There’s a lyric in there that goes “I turn the engine but the engine doesn’t turn.” So you didn’t turn the engine, you motherfucker! Just the key!
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