I’ve decided that I’m not gonna get married until gay people can get married. Cause I’m gay!
Related posts tagged 'Foam corner'
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Related posts tagged 'Foam corner'
You know how people over-pronounce something they’ll go “HW-eat thin!” or “HW-ile.” That’s a thing that proper folk do. But it should be “W-Heat thin” or “W-Hile”. Why does the H come before the W just because you’re pronouncing it like that?
I’ve decided that how much it would cost for me to only eat Vienna sausages in those little cans at 7-11 for two weeks straight, that’s all I eat, is $60,000 tax free. I just thought about that and I think that’s the amount it would take.
When someone talks about like, “I just met this girl and she was down for whatever.” That just means like ass fucking. That’s the only other thing!
This character was inspired by Friday Night Lights. It’s a shy, Texan teenager who’s trying to get his coach’s attention: “Cayouch! Cayouch! Cayouch? Cayouch! Cayouch? Cayouch! Excuse me, cayouch?”
If you’re looking for a book in the self-help section, and you can’t find it, do you ask? (That joke’s called “Shelf-help”).
I bought a backpack at a store yesterday and the woman at the register asked if I wanted a bag for it. I said “Lady, that’s what it is!”
Related posts tagged 'Phone corner'
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Related posts tagged 'Phone corner'
I’ve decided that how much it would cost for me to only eat Vienna sausages in those little cans at 7-11 for two weeks straight, that’s all I eat, is $60,000 tax free. I just thought about that and I think that’s the amount it would take.
I’m actually pretty sad. My therapist died a couple days ago and I have no one to talk to about it. When I get really sad like this, I find solace in just thinking that my wife probably won’t be born for another 30 years.
I’m pretty sad today. I just had my first unenjoyable Gotye listening session. I knew it was coming but now it’s just “Somebody That I Used to Know” that I used to know.
This is just a beef I have with The Wallflowers’s Song “One Headlight.” There’s a lyric in there that goes “I turn the engine but the engine doesn’t turn.” So you didn’t turn the engine, you motherfucker! Just the key!
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